Just for once

Just for once
I want someone to look me in the eye and say that I am beautiful
Just for once
I want to have a deep meaningful conversation about things that matter
Just for once
I want to someone to hear all my stupid talks as if they are so meaningful  and actually want to hear more
Just for once
I want to share all my hopes and dreams which are never going to come true with someone
Just for once
I don't want to feel vulnerable when I get hurt or cry in front of someone
Just for once
I want to believe that I am good enough to deserve all that I have
Just for once
I want to experience the calmness of silence all around
Just for once
I want someone to understand my feelings without saying a word
Just for once
I don't want anything to worry about
Just for once
I want to be my weird self without having to think what others would think
Just for once
I want to do stuff without thinking about its consequences
Just for once
I want to be fully alive to each and every moment that passes by
Just for once
I want to laugh so hard that my stomach starts aching
Just for once
I want to spend a day doing just nothing at all
Just for once
I want to make someone's impossible wish come true
Just for once
I want to have the pleasure of doing something I fear the most
Just for once
I want to find magic in unexpected places
Just for once
I want to feel I'm complete.

Someone

         E.E Cummings once wrote "To be nobody but yourself in a world,which is doing its best night and day,to make you everybody else,means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and keep fighting."
         Giving up hope of winning this battle one day seems so easier.But someone once told me..the easier thing is not the right thing to go for.Real achievements make you strive to get there..they challenge your potential and test your patience.Ultimately it is upto us to decide whether it is time to give up or it is just time to rise above the pettiness of temporary satisfaction and look up to things or people that give you true happiness or rather the 'afterglow that never fades'.
         On the way to this realization, there were times when I was shattered, when I lost hope, when I couldn't take it anymore. I used to think "This is it. I can't make this difficult decision" or "I don't know what to do anymore" or "I am not such a strong person after all". But the truth is we all are strong enough to pick ourselves up and  throw ourselves everyday into the battle to make our dreams,the realities.We just forget to believe in it sometimes. The question is not about what others think about you. It is about what you think you are and what kind of person you want to become.Take a look in the mirror everyday and ask yourself, are you someone you are proud of? If yes, continue to make yourself proud . If not, then figure out what is stopping you to become that person and rise above yourself to be someone you are proud of being.Because in the end, it is you who defines your happiness and it is you yourself who knows what kind of a person you are..so we don't need to waste time proving it to others.After all authenticity is not needing external approval to feel good about our own actions.
          The one most important thing that I have learnt is to gratify the way you are. Being sensitive or caring doesn't make you weak. It is the very essence of who you are..it shows your appreciation for little things.
          Just look around yourself..you might find someone just like you..someone who needs help..someone who is waiting for something to hold on to in life..someone who is trying to find a way out..someone who is trying to find a way in..someone who is in search of their self..someone struggling to get by..To that someone every little gesture can make a difference.One smile can start a friendship.One word can end a fight. One look can save a relationship.One person can change a life..
So why not be that person? Maybe you can make it up to yourself while making it up to others..