Waiting for a ship at the airport..

When I started to love that special someone I never thought whether he would love me back or not..All I wanted to do at that time was to love him head over heels.And I did so too.I saw myself married to him 10 years down the line.I saw him as the father of our beautiful daughter.I saw myself getting old with him. I believed that he is the one for me.He is the one I'd share my first kiss. His hug would make me feel safe and loved.Even the thought of losing him would devastate me.These little dreams of mine started to associate them with nobody but him.I was attached or rather tied to those aspirations and thoughts coming true.It was the "Lets Grow Old Together" love which kept me going.My love is true..It's for real..I had never felt my heart suddenly beating faster on seeing anybody else.I had never had more butterflies than at the time he told me "You are the best girl I've ever met" I've never cried more than when he got hospitalized with the deadliest diseases and didn't even bother to tell me.He was worth my wait..though I believed he deserved someone way better than me or my love.

Little did I know I was waiting for a ship at the airport. The thought which itself shattered me became the reality.Words couldn't express my grief nor tears were enough  to pour the pain out of my heart. The dreams as well as the courage to dream again was no more.It was all over.Even today its difficult to accept this fact that in no way we could be together. There's this voice inside me which tells me there's still something left.There's still that "something magical" out there which is still there.If I were to get over him I would have done it already.But then why do my eyes get wet on remembering our times...our memories...us?
Why am I not able to imagine the same things which I used to imagine but with someone else? I don't know what it is..But all I know is that it is...
Psychology says that we never really stop loving someone.Either we still do or we never did.
I think its the first option..
Someday...maybe the airplane might land me to the ship...maybe...

Mr Stranger

Come on come on my wish granting angel,
Its been so long I've been wishing for this stranger!

Who would turn my world upside down
Who would want to see me as the bride in that wedding gown
He would be the reason I'll wake up smiling
And he would be the person who'll know it when I'm lying

Oh ,Oh ! Mr. stranger.!
Are you gonna take forever?
Oh now please can you do me a favour?
Ask me out and be a little braver.!

Be the password to my phone
Be the lyrics to my song.
Be the beat to my heart
Yeah, we could never get apart..

Come on come on my wish granting angel,
Its been so long I've been wishing for this stranger!

Who would be the one I'd go with on the prom night
Who would be someone I'll name as my Mr. Right
He would be someone I'll miss when out of sight
And he would be the one I always wanna hug tight

Its high time now,get out of my dreams
Come into my life my charming Prince.
Sweep me off my feet
Let me feel your heartbeat
When we kiss first on the backseat..

Be the reason to my smile
Be the sparkle to my eye
Be the luck to my fate
And be worth my wait...

Untitled

When i was standing in the middle of nowhere,
In the depths of despair ...
It was too late to find out that,
I had lost my way back home...

Every street i roamed and every door i knocked;
Seemed dead enough to give no response..
There was just darkness all over with every dream shattered,
Too scared to move one step forward,
Cause I knew it would land me back two steps backward...

I know,
I was supposed to be the one
To face the things I've been running from;
I was supposed to be invincible....

I know;
I was supposed to be a fighter'
I had to have that fire burning in me
Which was never meant to burn out..

But this black of night tried to convey me
Something which I didn't take pains to see...
It was only right now I could see the stars,
Which could help me find my paths
Back home...

Cant my regrets and mistakes stay forever as memories..?
Cant the incomplete stories remain as possibilities..?
I don't know why Cant one lock have multiple keys..?

I don't wanna care to be the odd one out;
Or if I don't fit in the crowd
I don't wanna care if I break down;
Or if I don't stay strong...
Cause thats not me and
Thats something which I'm never gonna be ...

I wanna believe..that its okay...
to fly a little...fall a little...
to love a little... dream a little...
Just so that I know that I lived a little...
Just so that I know I lived a little...

Second Chances....

These chances are rare to find,
Destiny is seldom so kind..
Cant afford to mess up this time
I know the mistakes were all mine...


The moment is here...
There's no room for fear..
    The feeling which I've got is queer...

This coin is now tossed;
Keeping my fingers crossed;
I don't know whats it gonna be,
But today I'm ready.

     Its not fair to give up like this...
    On someone whom i miss
    Every second and minute of the day,
   Or has it been too late for me to say...

That I've made mistakes,
Yes, I've made mistakes...
Or is it the fate which says...
Never mind...its okay...

      My heart just cant settle for it
      Because it believes in love
      And love believes in faith
      And faith in hope...

This ray is the last one...
Which helps me cope;
After this the sun will set...and the darkness will be met...
But I can certainly  bet..

     Tomorrow the sun's gonna rise again..!
     With those infinite rays will come the boundless happiness!
     Tomorrow there will be a second chance..
     And a new romance..

There will be and end to all ails..
Cause love never fails...!!

Missing YOU :'(

 That Night....
That night when you lay in the hospital bed
And I, sitting on the couch
With my glistening eyes wide open
And my brain shut down

Kept on thinking about you
You and only you
Why do bad things happen to good people?
And why only the good people who are mine?

I really wanted to be with you there
You faced all the pain, all the sickness all alone
You never ever asked me to be with you
You never demanded me to be there
You didn't even tell me about your condition
You never used your right over me

Why you did it all alone?WHY?
You felt bad.. I felt even worse...
Or rather the worst.

You never did like the way you were
But I liked YOU, the older YOU....
Why on earth you had to change?
Who told you to do so?

Yes, I didn't like it,
I didn't like the new you
I couldn't accept it
Couldn't accept somebody else in your body
You were like YOU
And now you are not YOU

Can't you please come back?
Cause I really really need YOU this time..
I know I am never going to tell you this,
But even if you come to know, I would just hope YOU would understand..
Please come back...Please..
Because,I..
I was just missing a friend,missing YOU...

How crazy can I be?

(Dedicated to the one and only you...)
Crazy to not even notice the color of your shirt at the party
Crazy to accept and start believing that you are still as hot as you used to be be when you didn't shave
Crazy to sometimes think that "what if I get a burn If I touch you?"
Crazy to look at you and think"How can anyone on this earth be so sexy?"
Crazy to not even look at you properly fearing I might get lost in your eyes and then no one could stop me from staring at you like an owl
Crazy to start getting jealous from every girl you talk to or basically anyone except me
Crazy to dream about you the whole night and keep on thinking "What would happen if we did this and that and what not!?"
Crazy to try and step into your shoes and think about me from your mind ( or lets say heart)
Crazy to plead God to stop the time ereytime when you are near me or even out hands brush against one another
Crazy to become so much nervous dancing with you that I actually collide
Crazy to go on and dance with some other guy I don't really like just because you are dancing with that "some other girl "
Crazy to always wish hat you were my boyfriend whenever an eyelash breaks and falls on my cheek
Crazy to not wash my right hand for two days when you touched it for the first time
Crazy to always scold myself for not noticing you since past 12 years (when we were together in the same school and still are i guess)
Crazy to forget that you don't belong me and I don't belong to you.I practically have no right over you
(Oh I wish that was false)
Crazy to practise those "couple dance" steps with my friend from past two weeks
Crazy to be scared to hold your hand for once..cause once I hold your hand, I know I'll never ever leave you alone
Crazy to imagine your reactions on every little thing I think I would tell you
Crazy to always save your messages in memos and put a password lock
Crazy to think about you everyday,every hour,every minute,every second...
YES! I am Crazyyy..!
I am really CRAZY about you!

Love
Me

Why..?

Why don't you like me?
When I like  you so much..
Why do you make me cry?
Cause I make you laugh out loud..

Why am I waiting..?
Waiting for something
Which is never going to happen..

Then why do I think..?
I think about you
Listening to every romantic song on the earth...

I never told you..
That I can't live without you
Its only that
I don't want to live without you..

Why does my heart then
Skip a beat..?
Whenever I listen
To your magical voice on phone..

Why do I
Fight with my mind to believe you're Mr. Right
When I noe
You are MY Mr. Not So Right?

Why I am just too scared..?
Just so desperate..
To tell you..
To tell you I love you..

Why do I feel restless?
When you're around me..
YOU're near ME..
YOU're with ME..

Why do I try to fix..
Your Initials in my signature..?
Why do I dream about you?
Why do I try to find out
Silly reasons to be with you..?

I don't know where I stand..
Where I am..
But you...
You are with me..
Within me..
Beside me..

Why are you just so perfect?
Why do you complete me?


I really hate it..
I hate it when you're always right..
I hate it when you make me cry..
I hate it when you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call..
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you..
Not even close..
Not even a little bit..
Not even at all..


I want you to want me...
I need you to need me....
I love you to love me....

Sources: some movies:)

Family... :)

Here's a wonderful mail that i received today..

F A M I L Y



I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
'Oh excuse me please' was my reply.


He said, 'Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you.'


We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.


But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.


Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.


When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
'Move out of the way,' I said with a frown.


He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.


While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,


'While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.


Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.


Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.


He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.'


By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall..


I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
'Wake up, little one, wake up,' I said.


'Are these the flowers you picked for me?'
He smiled, 'I found 'em, out by the tree.


I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue.'


I said, 'Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way.'
He said, 'Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway.'


I said, 'Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue.'




FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.


And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed,
don't you think?
So what is behind the story?


Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
 FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

મને એ જ સમજાતું નથી કે આવું શાને થાય છે??

મને એ જ સમજાતું નથી કે આવું શાને થાય છે.
ફૂલડાં ડૂબી જતાં ને પથ્થરો તરી જાય છે.

ટળવળે તરશર્યાં તારાં જે વાદળી વેરણ બને.
તે જ રણમાં ઘૂમ મુસળધાર વરસી જાય છે.

ઘર-હીણાં ઘૂમે હજારો ઠોકરાતાં ઠેર ઠેર
ને ગગન-ચુમ્બી મહાલો જનસૂનાં રહી જાય છે.

દેવડીએ દંડ પામે ચોર મૂઠી જારના:
લાખ ખાંડી લૂંટનારા મહેફિલે મંડાય છે.

કામધેનુને જડે ના એક સૂકું તણખલું
ને લીલાંછમ ખેતરો સૌ આખલા ચરી જાય છે.

છે ગરીબોના કુબામાં તેલ ટીપુંય દોહ્યલું ?
ને શ્રીમંતોની કબર પર ઘીના દીવા થાય છે.

-કરસનદાસ લુહાર

How do we come to know if something is true or not..?? Well,if it sounds bitter it is the truth..!! Strange but soo true..! Just ponder upon this..Is God fair to all of us..? OR are some of us "lucky"( as we quote it..) If God is kind enough to you.. please don't take for granted. You never know when what can happen.Its all unpredictable.You are ALIVE at the moment. You may DIE the next moment. So exploit your opportunities to their fullest so that you never face the regret on NOT doing something..so just do everything you wish to !LIVE THE MOMENT GUYS..!

Life is beautiful..!

 Life is beautiful..!

LIFE-Wake up-get ready ( or typically should I say dressed up?)-Facebook-Horoscope-Bollywood Newspaper-A cup full of tea-Study-Chatting on phone-texting-Tutions-Lunch-listening music-repeat telecast of daily soaps-gossiping about friends with best friends-Facebook-tv reality shows-solitaire-bed-DREAMS-dreams-forgot the dreams-wake up-BACK TO LIFE

The above mentioned is my life.So from where is it "beautiful"? or what is "beautiful" about it..?
My freinds or my self made tea or my wildest dreams? Actually none of these... none of these are beautiful without each other.These silly little things make up my routine , make life and ultimately make me me.

Nothing being really so special make everything so much special to me..! Everyday people like me wake up with the first thought in mind of watching their favourite tv serial..! I really love to see how many likes my profile picture has got on facebook, I love to drink tea as if I am having coffee on a date with Mr. Dream Boy.! I love to create my own Phillosophy, I love to wear my party frock at home,I love to dream and I love to do whatever make me original..!

Sometimes everything seems to be so simple and great going that you just want to stop there and  look at yourself.I have actually learnt to deal with the problems in my life. Always the bottom line becomes "whatever happens, atleast I am not going to die" I don't want to die. I want to live because I have got to do many things before I die.!

Today, I feel that I am complete.I don't need anything else in life..A loving family, awsomest  freinds who are your body parts..(u literally can't live without them), convinient life,influential people,great schooling and a good heart...I think that's enough for all of us to live a satisfied life...(p.s @God: I never forget you...and you know,  a golden hearted somebody has made me realize something about you..I'll never forget to thank you for all that you have given me,the strength and the courage to live and how!)

@Life: you rock ! And trust me, if I am with you, u'll always rock!