Just for once

Just for once
I want someone to look me in the eye and say that I am beautiful
Just for once
I want to have a deep meaningful conversation about things that matter
Just for once
I want to someone to hear all my stupid talks as if they are so meaningful  and actually want to hear more
Just for once
I want to share all my hopes and dreams which are never going to come true with someone
Just for once
I don't want to feel vulnerable when I get hurt or cry in front of someone
Just for once
I want to believe that I am good enough to deserve all that I have
Just for once
I want to experience the calmness of silence all around
Just for once
I want someone to understand my feelings without saying a word
Just for once
I don't want anything to worry about
Just for once
I want to be my weird self without having to think what others would think
Just for once
I want to do stuff without thinking about its consequences
Just for once
I want to be fully alive to each and every moment that passes by
Just for once
I want to laugh so hard that my stomach starts aching
Just for once
I want to spend a day doing just nothing at all
Just for once
I want to make someone's impossible wish come true
Just for once
I want to have the pleasure of doing something I fear the most
Just for once
I want to find magic in unexpected places
Just for once
I want to feel I'm complete.

Someone

         E.E Cummings once wrote "To be nobody but yourself in a world,which is doing its best night and day,to make you everybody else,means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and keep fighting."
         Giving up hope of winning this battle one day seems so easier.But someone once told me..the easier thing is not the right thing to go for.Real achievements make you strive to get there..they challenge your potential and test your patience.Ultimately it is upto us to decide whether it is time to give up or it is just time to rise above the pettiness of temporary satisfaction and look up to things or people that give you true happiness or rather the 'afterglow that never fades'.
         On the way to this realization, there were times when I was shattered, when I lost hope, when I couldn't take it anymore. I used to think "This is it. I can't make this difficult decision" or "I don't know what to do anymore" or "I am not such a strong person after all". But the truth is we all are strong enough to pick ourselves up and  throw ourselves everyday into the battle to make our dreams,the realities.We just forget to believe in it sometimes. The question is not about what others think about you. It is about what you think you are and what kind of person you want to become.Take a look in the mirror everyday and ask yourself, are you someone you are proud of? If yes, continue to make yourself proud . If not, then figure out what is stopping you to become that person and rise above yourself to be someone you are proud of being.Because in the end, it is you who defines your happiness and it is you yourself who knows what kind of a person you are..so we don't need to waste time proving it to others.After all authenticity is not needing external approval to feel good about our own actions.
          The one most important thing that I have learnt is to gratify the way you are. Being sensitive or caring doesn't make you weak. It is the very essence of who you are..it shows your appreciation for little things.
          Just look around yourself..you might find someone just like you..someone who needs help..someone who is waiting for something to hold on to in life..someone who is trying to find a way out..someone who is trying to find a way in..someone who is in search of their self..someone struggling to get by..To that someone every little gesture can make a difference.One smile can start a friendship.One word can end a fight. One look can save a relationship.One person can change a life..
So why not be that person? Maybe you can make it up to yourself while making it up to others..

The Day before my life changed....Changed my life..

When i need to escape the horrors of today
my eyes shut involuntarily
Leaving behind the lies and hypocrisy
And the frustration and insecurity
Going back in time
Jumping to that very day
When it was all okay
And it was so calm
Maybe that was the quiet before the storm..

It was the last time I remember,
When I felt like I was alive
When I thought I was blessed
When I believed it couldn't get any better
When I hoped this would always be the same

That was the day..
The day that changed my life ...
That was the day..
The day before my life changed..

That was the day..
Which I labeled as the best day of my life
Little did I know..the worst one was ready to arrive..

It seemed
My happily ever after
Ended in the blink of an eye
But that was one moment
For which people wait for lifetimes

How beautifully just one thing
Comes rushing towards us..
Hovers for a moment..
Settles..
And then that moment is gone..
Leaving your soul imprinted
With that magic spell..
That gives you that immense power
To go through it all again.

Untitled

7 billion souls living in 192 different countries of the 7 continents of one planet-Earth,searching for that one thing which gives meaning to their life.That one thing which on being fulfilled lets one's soul rest in peace..That one thing which is omnipresent but rarely presented these days..That one thing for which we wake up everyday with renewed hope and zest for life..And That one thing for which you and me and everyone craves for is..A simple for letter word. L-O-V-E.

Everyone needs it..Everyone wants it..Everyone dreams about it..Then why is it so difficult to find...when everyone of us has it within ourselves..?
We all have so much to offer to the world..so much to crave for too..Then why we don't get love when we need it the most..want it the most and are willing to give it without any measure..? It has just come to become a fancy wish which only angels grant to the luckiest people on earth..Somebody once said..

"It is the most easiest thing to love somebody...but if you are really the most luckiest person on earth..the person you love decides to love you back."

Its like all of us have built some kind of walls..Sometimes it isn't to keep others away..but maybe it is to see who cares for you so much so that they can tear those walls down.It is just for the sake of that insecurity which keeps on letting the fear of getting your heart broken keep you from opening it up to others..
Maybe you just want to be sure enough before showing your vulnerable side to others.

That feeling which you get when you know somebody's got your back..when you know that somebody will be there with you no matter what happens is itself so assuring and divine that it would rather make you more confident and tough from within..You would no longer be scared to fit in or be weird being yourself..because you know "I'm not the only one."You then start to believe in the idea that maybe dreams wont remain dreams any longer..maybe you aren't really alone in the crowded world.

I don't want people to be scared of love.I want them to accept it without doubting it..Because it only seems to knock by once..And it may be too late sometimes if you stay there thinking that It might be too good to be true.Just let them all the way in..You never know from where the next miracle might come from..

"The saddest thing man can ever face is what might have been"

So just believe in yourself and your karma. Believe that good things do happen to good people.Even your slightest efforts can change lives and influence people..So don't be afraid to be who you are..There is that somebody out there for you who'll give you more than you ever dreamed of..so don't fall short of love..Try and make other's smile..their smile might bring one on your face too..The purpose of life is fulfilled when you live a life of purpose.Believe that you matter and what you do matters..and yes it does..

{Dedicated to all those souls who have stopped believing in goodness of people and unconditional love..
And to you for inspiring me to write this}

In a world which does not exist..

In a world which does not exist..
Everyone (including me) is loved..
Nobody is shunned,
Or abandoned or hated,
Or destroyed or judged..
Just loved..
So much so that;
None (nor me) is scared
To put themselves out there,
And offer to the world;
Something more than they expect..
Everyone (including me) matters
And is cared about.
Everyone's efforts (including mine)
Are appreciated and mattered.
Nobody (nor me) feels
Left out or alone in the crowd..

In a world which does not exist..
Dreams are realities.
Tears don't exist.
Hope is guaranteed.
Peace is forever.
Trust isn't brittle.
Betrayal is found nowhere.
Smiles are everywhere.
And everyone (including me)
Is destinied for greatness..

Waiting for a ship at the airport..

When I started to love that special someone I never thought whether he would love me back or not..All I wanted to do at that time was to love him head over heels.And I did so too.I saw myself married to him 10 years down the line.I saw him as the father of our beautiful daughter.I saw myself getting old with him. I believed that he is the one for me.He is the one I'd share my first kiss. His hug would make me feel safe and loved.Even the thought of losing him would devastate me.These little dreams of mine started to associate them with nobody but him.I was attached or rather tied to those aspirations and thoughts coming true.It was the "Lets Grow Old Together" love which kept me going.My love is true..It's for real..I had never felt my heart suddenly beating faster on seeing anybody else.I had never had more butterflies than at the time he told me "You are the best girl I've ever met" I've never cried more than when he got hospitalized with the deadliest diseases and didn't even bother to tell me.He was worth my wait..though I believed he deserved someone way better than me or my love.

Little did I know I was waiting for a ship at the airport. The thought which itself shattered me became the reality.Words couldn't express my grief nor tears were enough  to pour the pain out of my heart. The dreams as well as the courage to dream again was no more.It was all over.Even today its difficult to accept this fact that in no way we could be together. There's this voice inside me which tells me there's still something left.There's still that "something magical" out there which is still there.If I were to get over him I would have done it already.But then why do my eyes get wet on remembering our times...our memories...us?
Why am I not able to imagine the same things which I used to imagine but with someone else? I don't know what it is..But all I know is that it is...
Psychology says that we never really stop loving someone.Either we still do or we never did.
I think its the first option..
Someday...maybe the airplane might land me to the ship...maybe...

Mr Stranger

Come on come on my wish granting angel,
Its been so long I've been wishing for this stranger!

Who would turn my world upside down
Who would want to see me as the bride in that wedding gown
He would be the reason I'll wake up smiling
And he would be the person who'll know it when I'm lying

Oh ,Oh ! Mr. stranger.!
Are you gonna take forever?
Oh now please can you do me a favour?
Ask me out and be a little braver.!

Be the password to my phone
Be the lyrics to my song.
Be the beat to my heart
Yeah, we could never get apart..

Come on come on my wish granting angel,
Its been so long I've been wishing for this stranger!

Who would be the one I'd go with on the prom night
Who would be someone I'll name as my Mr. Right
He would be someone I'll miss when out of sight
And he would be the one I always wanna hug tight

Its high time now,get out of my dreams
Come into my life my charming Prince.
Sweep me off my feet
Let me feel your heartbeat
When we kiss first on the backseat..

Be the reason to my smile
Be the sparkle to my eye
Be the luck to my fate
And be worth my wait...